did revelations mention....

hahahaha

haahahahahah

and ESPECIALLY:
haahahahahah

today is a good day.

have we met?

Landry: Now here is a shocking piece of news....http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D8LM782O0.htm
Landry's roommate:More newsworthy is your boobies all sprawled out on your myspace page!
I'm going to start putting vodka in your toothpaste so I can see some of that at home!

start as you mean to go on.

Landry told me the other day that perhaps she was meant to teach me just one thing in this life.

During that particular conversation it was about being present. 'It is what it is'... she's even got my father saying that when we blow tires on the Garden State Parkway. It didn't sound strange coming out of his mouth since it is so familiar a phrase. Above? 'Start as you mean to go on'? That's what I'm trying to learn now.

That and how I can organize an 'accidental' explosion to flatten the squealing children in the schoolyard below me before I move out. Landry? A little help?

hiding.

That word often has such fearful and ulterior motives behind it. But not this day. Not this last week. Not these past two weeks. I've been hiding and protecting. This funny, unexpected, rare little bit of what I remember to be myself. Brought out in a whirlwind of quiet dinners, trashed hotel rooms, flowers, notes, fried turkey, leaf raking, and whispering. Escaping from the world to fall into this. Hiding also just a bit from the world to keep this safe. Hiding from the weight of it until I was ready to bear it. Now? I'm in.

my friends are definitely better than yours

Landry: I think she might be dumb as a box of hair
Amos: are you looking for brilliance or distraction?

gorgeous.

yeah, I do.

Friday morning, little sleep, hotel breakfast table somewhere in Manhattan, discussing friendships...

Gormley: "I don't really like people, I just have Landry..."

M: "Yeah, but you have the HELL out of her."

pervy

would you buy this for the child in your life?
um
so even if no one caught it at any stage before, when this photo was taken, didnt someone say
"uh...guys? maybe we should rethink the design?"

RE: yr complaints

bitch bitch bitch....
were drunk.
we'll post tomorrow.

ruffies are the new tylenol pm

the birthday party went off without a hitch (or a birthday floozy- though gormley and MD very nearly made the grade)
at some point i decided that getting wasted on your birthday is incredibly cliche so i announced to every person who asked me if I needed a drink that I was NOT going to be getting wasted this year and that I needed seltzer
my requests were met with eyerolls and grey goose.
i was home by 12.
old.
and for my first birthday party ever,
decidedly not wasted.
and i suppose if something isn't broken you shoudln't try to fix it.
because now i am sick.
all of the usual suspects were there and some some played my favorite songs on the jukebox for me.
thank you to everyone who came to wish me well and laugh at me for getting old.
i love you
no
really.

I'm buying you a vodka drink every year until we die.

Happy slightly early birthday to my most treasured, clever, fiercely loyal, snarky, saucy, beautiful friend. I love you madly.

ahhh, and then there's my old friend Rage.

This morning, after a few beers in honor of Landry's birthday last night, I woke early and decided for the second day in a row that I would drown a sack of kittens for a cup of coffee. Threw on my coat, jeans and a tank top that haven't been washed in a good number of weeks, and a pair of flip flops.

In my ongoing effort to get back to efficiency, I took my drycleaning down. Walking on Avenue A, feeling good about the chilly weather and sun, I peripherally noticed someone leaning in to leer as we passed each other.

This morning? I looked like a crack whore. A hot crack whore, but still... dirty clothes, hair and leftover makeup from last night (Landry what the eff do you use to get 'blacktrax' from MAC off? I was ready to try Windex) and do you know what the fucker said to me with a snarl?

ssssssss'sexy toes'sssssss.

I hadn't even had coffee yet. I could tell without looking at him that his wife and daughters are terrified of him. And I wanted for just a second to be at his dinner table tonight.

With a dull butter knife.

hmmm, a massage and meth?

...from his burly non-bf-prostitute-no-doubt-waiter-I'm-not-gay-I'm-Christian-Non-BF?

priceless

Also, who doesn't love and fucking fear the phrase 'megachurch'?

not anger yet... but sauce....

new haricut... Dawson has the saucy picks of Landry's bday (tonight)... we plan to wrestle them out of him tomorrow.

xo

enough already...

things around here are getting far too serious.
i am calling a moratorium on the existential and sapppy shit.
you hear me woman?

wheres the anger?
Where is the spite?
where is the bitterness?

OH!!!
here is is.

can someone please tell me how i could be happier?
i thought i was going to have to vote Foley the man of my dreams
but now?
the meth snorting gay sex having evangelical minister is my hero.
S.W.A.K