muscle memory.

In a week (or so) I will be divorced. In practice I have been for awhile. You can't stand up in court with someone and hear them say things are fucked beyond repair and think anything but alienated from that shared life. A few days ago I noticed myself turning the missing ring with my thumb. I guess I always did it. The finality of things must have triggered it again. Just for another week (or so). Once I realized myself doing it, and kept finding that absence on my finger... I noticed myself doing it more. Muscle memory. So now there is that attachment to the one little gesture. A tiny movement of my thumb that I am left with as I nearly let go of the rest.