there are worse things than having a malformed face

this is what happens when you go to the dentist to get 3 fillings replaced.


you are forced to drink beer from a straw.

the dentist, who happens to be a friend of mine assured me that i looked fine and that no one would even notice.
but what he didnt count into the equation was the drooling part.
the part where i had to clamp my mouth shut so hard that my jaw is now aching so drool wouldnt drip down my chin.
i walked in to gormleys pre boxed apartment and the first words out of her mouth were
"your face looks a little askew"

it seems that my 500 boyfriends that i found on the 10 block walk from the dentist to Gormleys house like that look
which i am lovingly now referring to as
the dirty elephant man style
I have now resorted to tucking a piece of tp inside the corner of my mouth to catch the errant drool.
and as the gap between the bottom of the straw and the bottom of my beer became more and more estranged I decided to go back to my old method.
drinking out of the bottle.
gormley disagreed with my solution

not on my suede chairs bitch. Lets try a little ingenuity
tip the bottle and keep the straw.

im doomed for the next 4 hours