poor poor beer

i like driving with no shoes on
and the windows open
and the music blasting
i like drinking beer outside at the beach
but i dont like doing it without Gormley
i miss you girl....

i drink becuase i dont have children and my sister drinks because she does

i fell asleep with the fat little feet of my nephew in my hands this morning.

i haven't been warmer happier or had my brain more non-static in a very long time.
(except for the anxiety dream that my sister rolled over on him)

I woke up to the sound of Lulu yelling
"Aunt Jenny!! Wake up! you have to take me to school"
it didn't occur to her nor did she care that i looked like a crack whore
(which i have been advised is NOT ok to say in front of children)

and even in the chaos of whatever it is that someone does in the morning to get 2 children ready to get them out the door and off to school, (and the pretty much constant wailing of Gus) i felt fine.
and i think it is important to note that Rayray, Jorge and I stayed up until the wee hours drinking and talking. one would think that would make me cranky after so few hours of sleep and so much Ketel (since that is what is what i assume is considered ""well" vodka in hell).
but i was fine.
i was happy to help olivia put her rockstar red converse on and cuff her pants high "like aunt jenny does"

and then took me to school, un-showered, with the morning after black make-up, smelling, im quite sure like i did YESTERDAY morning.
she was proud as could be and told her teacher,

"i have a very special person here bringing me to school....my aunt jenny!!!"

her teacher looked nervous and might be calling DYFS right now.

then we came and took a nap
i fell asleep with his fussy little foot in my hand
he hated it and kept kicking me
but i am bigger than he is

executive secretary

RE: e-mails
today

G: Yes to a big cuddle fest in NYC, Im sure we can find enough champagne to keep us happy for at least one weekend.

L: we might have to order ahead......
the 4 of us can take down some champagne.
and?
i can be an over achiever if i am horizontal
like last time

G: I am going to have to keep all of my computers away from the styrofoam cups

L: by the time of 'Cuddlefest NYC 2007" I better not see another
styrofoam cup even on the OUTSIDE of your apt.

upon realizing that someone didn't get the e-mails i decided that i would try my secretarial skills

e-mail. L to Y: so G forgot to put the m in 'com' so you didnt get any of this blather.
i know you are a VERY busy woman but laughing is also important so im
sending you the readers digest condensed version of the mornings back
and forth that you should have been on (this has already passed being
'condensed' hasnt it?)
but im a good secretary. really.

e-mail from G 3 minutes after

G: except for actually providing an accurate condensed version... yes, GREAT SECRETARY.

people.

Stop. For the love of god, stop. Stop wearing Ugg Boots. I'm done. And the pink ones? Need to be lit on fire. Girls will be SCREAMING up and down Broadway - having traveled in from NJ, only to have their prized, out-dated, ugly-ass boots melting to their sweatpants (which OF COURSE have something clever written on their asses) fashionably tucked into the white hot melted faux suede while their barbie hair extensions swing dangerously close to the flames.

Landry and I no longer say... "I bet you 5 dollars (insert bet)..." we say... "If you lose this bet, you have to wear Uggs for a WEEK.'

And not just 'regular' Uggs... but the fucking 'bedazzled' ones.

when things stopped spinning so fast

i have nowhere to put new things.
i am rolling stuff around in my brain and have no place to put it in black and white that feels safe. I want to see it written so I can see if its right.
i'm surprising myself in ways i didn't think were possible.
at least not now.
and here i am tumbling stones around
trying to soften their edges
so they are shiny and round and just big enough to fit in the palm of my hand and give away to the people for whom they are meant.
thank you for the help
and the paint in my hair.
and the patience.

charts and graphs

we figured out that Gormley and I have known each other 14 years this fall.
thats quite enough time for us to have so entwined our families and lives that we have had to create a chart.
the chart is a running and living history of all of our collective friends, lovers, ex husbands and S.O's.

but its just a tiny bit more complicated than that.
you see...one of my ex boyfriends (with whom I have been friends for almost 20 years) is definitely sleeping with an ex co worker of mine.
and one of Gormley's ex-S.O's is married to another of my best friends

see?
we needed a chart.
and recently the chart has had to have a MAJOR overhaul.
generally we do it on napkins
in bars
while drunk

now?
its going to have to be done in a more formulaic manner
im working on it in my spare time
and it will be posted.
check in
see if you are on it.