i drink becuase i dont have children and my sister drinks because she does

i fell asleep with the fat little feet of my nephew in my hands this morning.

i haven't been warmer happier or had my brain more non-static in a very long time.
(except for the anxiety dream that my sister rolled over on him)

I woke up to the sound of Lulu yelling
"Aunt Jenny!! Wake up! you have to take me to school"
it didn't occur to her nor did she care that i looked like a crack whore
(which i have been advised is NOT ok to say in front of children)

and even in the chaos of whatever it is that someone does in the morning to get 2 children ready to get them out the door and off to school, (and the pretty much constant wailing of Gus) i felt fine.
and i think it is important to note that Rayray, Jorge and I stayed up until the wee hours drinking and talking. one would think that would make me cranky after so few hours of sleep and so much Ketel (since that is what is what i assume is considered ""well" vodka in hell).
but i was fine.
i was happy to help olivia put her rockstar red converse on and cuff her pants high "like aunt jenny does"

and then took me to school, un-showered, with the morning after black make-up, smelling, im quite sure like i did YESTERDAY morning.
she was proud as could be and told her teacher,

"i have a very special person here bringing me to school....my aunt jenny!!!"

her teacher looked nervous and might be calling DYFS right now.

then we came and took a nap
i fell asleep with his fussy little foot in my hand
he hated it and kept kicking me
but i am bigger than he is