if Landry was your pimp...
...this is what she wrote for me:
Straight (contrary to popular belief) white female ISO a discreet husband. Looking for an anti-social man who will keep me in grey goose instead of beer because my ass is getting big from 4 being the new 3 (and its only a matter of time before 7 is the new 6).
Please try not to be stupid or ask too many questions.
I am bossy, drunk and hate children.
''Nice'' people need not respond.
posted by gormley at 11:11 PM
3 Comments:
ok, that's too funny - landry should open a business and write these for fun and profit. (course, i'd never want her to write one for me - it'd be scary to say the least).
Pimp on...
and EVERYONE knows that Gormley is the new Ally Sheedy (aka Allison Reynolds).
Some memorable (or at least VERY easily imaginable) Allison/Gormley quotes:
Alison/Gormley: I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, to the country, to the mountains. I could go to Isreal, Africa, Afghanistan.
Alison/Gormley: I'll do anything sexual and I don't need a million dollars to do it either.
Claire: You're lying.
Alison/Gormley: I already have. I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac.
Claire: Lie.
Brian: Are your parents aware of this?
Alison/Gormley: The only person I told was my shrink.
Andrew: And what did he do when you told him?
Alison/Gormley: He nailed me.
Alison/Gormley: When you grow up, your heart dies.
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