"PopUp Hate"

So last night found me on Landry's couch as she made a tasty Lemon Parmesan Pasta - which sounds classy, and was - but it is important to note that we're still among our people considering we were eating stale goldfish out of a bowl with "cheap, sweet, trashy" wine and a few Stellas...

Anyway...

So we're sitting on the couch watching "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic channel, waiting for JM (who really shouldn't be allowed to dress himself) and enjoying our BF, the host, Cesar, retrain the owners of psychotic dogs who turn their normal pets into raving lunatics who need behavior modification....

I'm rambling because I haven't had coffee yet - which is stupid....

My brilliant idea of last night during one particularly disturbing segment of the show was to do "PopUp Hate" ala "PopUp Videos" where Landry and I get to sit on a couch - with the tackiest box of wine we can find - and make snarky comments which would appear on screen for the public. Gems from last nights segment would have been (and insert that charming PopUp Video bubbling noise before each quote):

Trophy Wife laughs and playfully swats arm of Old Busted RICHASFUCK husband: "Oh dear, you're so funny..." Thinking: Oh dear, when you die soon, I get all of your money...

OBRAFH: Nodding in agreement to a dog suggestion... Thinking: no way this guy isn't white and he's in our LA living room.

TW: Nodding in agreement as she considers recovering the chair... Thinking: my pants match my sofa... (bewildered) did someone say something?

TW and OBRAFH: "It's amazing the difference in the dog with these few simple steps!" Thinking: We're going to let the gardener take care of the dog from NOW on!

I need a coffee AND a rifle today.