my alternate universe.
I had the comforting, shoulder to rely on, laughing, funny, sexy, easy evening with him... and I let go - just a little - and cried for the anger of the last few days, weeks, months, year... but just a little. Having hair brushed off my face while upset felt like a boot to the chest that I needed and expected.
And somehow we were talking about how different I am now than I was... how drastically anyone's personality can change based on the circumstances they either create themselves or fall headfirst into. And how differently he and I would have regarded each other years ago when we first met if not already on our own paths... and I realized that the New Gormley, with all her lack of concern about more than a day or two in front of her, with her filthy clothes and not-so-oft-washed hair, with her distrust of relationships, with her disinterest in stability, with the bed that hasn't been made yet today at 5:28pm... that the New Gormley, out of the circumstances created by A, would be the person he would fall in love with again... and I thought, for the second time this week...
fucker.
posted by gormley at 5:36 PM
3 Comments:
you still have some time yet
you are going to be angry
hell i am still really fucking angry at A and its not even my battle.
when you come out on the other side you are going to be more amazing than old gormley, new gormley, dirty gormley, superstar gormley and drunk snarky gormley put together.
and?
when they are finally actually all together
THEN you will be better.
i love you
This is the real you.
I've always really, really liked the real you.
Even when it was under other yous.
I'd stick my d*ck in ANY of d'ose mashed puhtatahs!!!!
Hang in there Gormley....like Jenn says, there are the old, new, dirty, superstar, drunk, snarky, slightly fascist, upset, stained, smeared, puking guts, embracing, fleeting, 100-mile-an-hour Gormleys, which when all get reined in and put back together (think Mike Teevee) will form the absolute GORMLEY.
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