claws out.

Landry and I untangled a bit of a core difference - of which there are few - between us last night over a late IM.

We are both fiercely loyal. Claws out, fuck everybody sort of loyal. To those close to us we are protectors, defenders, unwavering support. However our lines vary in their placement. People cross them at different perimeters. Trust is broken earlier or later depending on which one of us you find yourself on the wrong side of.

Unsurprisingly, I'm a bit harsher than she is.

Maybe its been the last year, the surprise and subtle betrayal. Now, I trust more cautiously than I ever have... and I've always been a more than a little hedgy. Landry weighs things. Finds the balance. History, Friendship, Empathy. I see the weight of those things as more of a kick in the chest if trust is broken in the face of that history and friendship.

Which is not to say that I have never betrayed someone... which suggests I should be softer... allow for others to make my same mistakes. And while I never forget people who help me, I never forgive the surprise of being hurt... and the unfortunate bit for me and for most is that the betrayal outweighs the history, hands down. I trust few people in the world, but those that I do I am so careful with, so protective of, that I dare you to try and hurt them with me around.

I suspect Landry is a better person than I am. Or that I'm getting worse at hiding my rough edges.